how to handle your girlfriend getting hit on

The agency provides a safe and non-judgmental environment for you to talk about what happened. This in turn prevents other guys being perceived as a threat, instead being an inconsequential side effect of having an attractive girlfriend. She is the love of my life, my soul mate, my best friend. That puts it all into perspective. As for the arguments, the best thing to do after any argument or fight is to not dwell on the feelings or the content behind it. She said that it was nothing more than a crush, and that she truly did love me. Thanks for the info I have had a lot of guys being weird and talking to my girlfriend she has told me about every single one so I dont feel that she would be cheating on me. She out right lied to me about talking to her ex which would leave me thinking what else could she of lied about? The fact that you dont work directly with each other also works in your favour as you can be her release from any stresses at work. Thanks for writing and good luck for California! I said you need to check in with me at least so I know your okay while your out, NOT every hour on the hour but once your settled in. Well my boyfriend doesnt seem to care much that I have tons of guy friends, but he gets aggravated when i mess around with them because he says that I am per say flirting with them when in fact I am not or at least it seems that way to me. Whilst jealousy and related insecurities are something that can only be dealt with individually through various personal development techniques, being uncomfortable with a specific scenario is something acutely different and that is something you should talk to your girlfriend about. A teenager knocked her stuff over and called her a traitor and yelled 'hope your [slur] daughter dies.' before running away. -Does all of this just sound like Im being super jealous and shouldnt even be thinking about this at all? it makes me bitter and angry and I imagine their dirty stares, intentions.. their lustful eyes.. etc. My partner was in an abusive relationship before she got with me. Right! As long as you are always in the loop and continue to define your roles of you as her boyfriend and him as her friend, nothing sinister will develop. I came across this page because I am in am awkward situationmy gut and my brain are telling me two different things, I have been dating this girl for over a year nowwe have been official from around month 4 until about month 10 but now are not official I guess you could say, I dont consider myself a jealous guy And I felt like I was reassured of that while reading your responseshowever, Ive become very guarded in my relationship, at the beginning of our relationship she still had her ex bf making contact with hershe said it would eventually phase out but it would be hard cause he doesnt give upI let it go for a few months but I always suggested that she not keep the door open for him to contact her, like pick up his phone calls and suchshe said that he was no good for her but it was hard to just stop a relationship and she would always say that I am who she needsI was always with her on the weekends and talked to her every night so I didnt think she was seeing himas time went there was a point in which she became distant and I gave her space and one day by coincidence I went out and saw her out and her ex was talking to her in the same placeI thought something was going on so I stopped talking to hershe constantly called me and tried to explain that it was a coincidence and to prove it that she would block his number and any communicationI trusted her and was able to regroup from this, a few months down the road she got to the point where she started going out with friends and started making a lot of guy friendsshe always got hit on via social sites and when we went out, but I didt think it was appropriate that she would exchange phone number with these guys who she says are now just her friendsshe has become close to them and often gets a lot of favors and hangs out with them a lot but I never meet them or commingle with themit came to a point where she would no longer show that she was in a relationshipshe wouldnt put picture of us up on her social sites, but she would put picture of her with her guy friendsand she would go out with them and not invite meI thought it was very disrespectful so I stopped talking to hershe would still try to communicate with me and says she misses me and sends me pictures and asks to hang out but I would steer awayI was obviously still into her but it was hard to accept the way she wasafter about a month or two of not seeing her and talking very little we got close again by talking things out and remembering the good timesso I gave in and hung out with her againwe reconnected and we talk all the time like we use to but I barely ever get to see herlast week she was admitted to the hospital for an ectopic surgery, where an egg gets stuck in the Fallopians, and she had them removedI didnt question her on who the pregancy was from because she said it was minebut we have only been sexual once over the past two and a half months.I have been talking to her and around to help her for her recovery but every time I try to see her she doesnt follow through with her plansshe wont commit to anything and she still tells me about certain guy friends who she lets help her outI keep having the feeling that she is doing to me what she did to her ex by letting me be around and not cutting off communication and that she might be seeing one of these guysI dont know how to confront the situation at this point because I feel like if Im making a big deal out of nothing and she is going through this emotional thing from the surgery it will make it worse for her but I cant help feeling that another guy might be involved. Therefore, if your girlfriend is constantly sharing stories about how so many guys look at her and hit on her, its her toxic trait that she wants to get you jealous. how can we understand each other? There are ways for you to inspire a more assertive side of your girlfriends personality and find more of a compromise but ultimately, many aspects of the dynamic you have is fundamental to the relationship you share. So yesterday (November 17th) my girlfriends young (25 I think) former math teacher who now lives in Texas (we are in Wisconsin so far away) messaged her on facebook. Doing so would probably have the biggest impact if said by either your girlfriend or a mutual friend, as it will come across as more impartial and sincere. I want to let the roommate know that they should give up hope, but I know thats crazy! That is the definition of logic influencing emotions. I have known my GF for 5 months been dating her for 3 months and we live long distance, about 6 hours away. Im happy to hear that she said no, that she still felt in love with me, even with us being apart. The way she has described her friendship with him makes this even more apparent; I really wouldnt worry too much about anything happening. My girlfriend says she mentions me in response and tells him to shut up but he always persists. This sounds like a common case of men and women reading signals differently in a club environment but you hit the nail on the head when you said that your girlfriend might not understand the boundaries of the relationship yet. How she expresses that desire is related to her own self-esteem and is something that can and will change. That said, consider everything thats at stake and determine if you can build a healthy relationship from here. Even if this guy tries something again in the future, as long as your girlfriend continues to make it clear he doesnt have a chance with her in that way, try not to take anything he does personally. Humans are social creatures and your girlfriend will gain different social rewards from the different people in her life. Sam i am really need some answers here please help me. Hopefully hell come around soon and be wiling to talk about it. Your girlfriend seemingly hiding texts from you is probably still more influenced by the assumptions surrounding their relationship than the actual content of the messages. I need help because I believe shes a very innocent girl who does not know the consequences of some things she does. My girl and I met where we both work together, but in different departments, and have started seeing alot of each other for about a month. Whilst it is one thing to have trust in your girlfriend talking to other men, however attractive, especially if she has a friendly, bubbly personality which might be construed as flirtatious and men may mistake that as an amorous sign, because should they try to take it any further, the girlfriend will immediately put a stop to it because it was never her intention to flirt in the first place, just being friendly, thats one thing. Now the kicker here is that I had a good friend(girl) who was at the club the whole time and when i got there I introduced my friend to my girlfriend. I have read this post numerous times and have practiced your teachings it has helped. She goes ohh its probably one of my GFs I said oh yeah you sure?? Part of me says to just let it be because we arent even dating yet. You do treat me with respect most of the time but when we argue you get stupid and call names because you hate being proved wrong when everyone else is telling you are Kyle Oguin Junior, Hello David and Melissa, I thought I would reply to you both at the same time as you are both here. the only thing we dont have in common,is friends,cause she has a LOTTTA friends,male and female,and very popular,and i dont really have a numerous amount of friends. Mixing in those kinds of rich celebrity circles does often heighten the degree of social games that you will have to deal with though. Whichever you decide, the key to moving on is not letting her have an emotional hold over you, especially if she tries to contact you. School +full time job isnt a pretty job. Im starting to be severely depressed because I have tried everything to make her understand how it makes me feel yet it still seems more important for her to tell me how desired she is by the men population than to have a quality relationship with me, and do what needs to be done to rebuild my trust. If he is neglecting you by still persuing your girl, then just act like you are amused by his attempts and let your girlfriend defuse the situation. She also maintains friendships with men even when she knows they want more. At first it was a bit of a battle because she didnt feel she had to report into me but we worked that out. great words here man! Some will be more obvious or unreserved in displaying that fact but you shouldnt let that dictate where you go. The neighbor still took the liberty of inviting herself, her husband, and this guy over to my girlfriends house. Pressure for her to text more frequently against her own decision and you are liable to not only continually break her convivial state (which she will anchor directly to you) but at worst, come off as needy whilst she is out having fun. Both ways. Despite being drunk myself, I immediately had some other male friends sit him in a chair and give him water, while I got him a ride home. Recognizing that she is such an amaging person, I hate that I continue to get these feelings when other guys converse with / hit on her. Long-term relationships are about more than just attraction. As long as there are no genuine suspicions that something is going on then it is one of those cases where you just have to deal with it in your own way whenever the negative thoughts and feelings are brewing. But I stayed calm and asked him again to back off and left it at that. U are totally right that im needy. I am currently dating this girl Ive known for almost two years, weve been dating for about five months. Dont worry. I love and trust my girlfriend very much, and i know she feels the same about me, so im not worried all that much about it. me and my gf have been going out for about a year now, and for the past few months theres this guy at school who hits on her every day, the thing is, she doesnt realise that-or doesnt admit it, and so she continues talking with him. Well, recently she started telling me stories about all the men that are hitting on her and how they STILL hit on her when they realize that she is taken. thanks in advance. Its likely that your girlfriend will learn and change how much she drinks in time. Further in my investigations, I found out the motivations behind men flirting with women and women flirting with men. But of course.. But the key to that is being friendly, not flirty, a woman can be one without the other. I try hard to ignore it and most times u keep to myself. I never got a call, she said she was sooo tired she feel right asleep when she got in. She talked to this guy and this guy was like. My Friend Hits On My Girlfriend: What Should I Do - Luvze I really love her and so did I back then and that was painful but things changed over the course of time. Its extremely common for an average guy to mistake general friendliness from a woman to be more than just friendly this is often why particularly attractive women who get approached a lot will actively act cold around guys in bars, even if they are normally very friendly. Either way, emotional cheating is a symptom of certain aspects of a relationship, rather than an active cause. At this point, i started to ask her who that was and she told me that they became friends and he was interested in opening a restaurant in Texas. In my experience, rich and successful guys, unless they feel particularly close to you, will often have little problem trying to obtain a taken woman. Im getting tired of doing all the work in my relationship, how do i get her to do some of the driving? In one particularly ugly case, my boyfriends best friend got ridiculously drunk at a funeral and tried to kiss me (he was so drunk that he missed). Is My Child's Behavior Abusive? They were together for around 9 months, even though he has a partner too, he still seems to flirt with her. I myself know how important it is to be there for your friends in those important times. Thanks. We see each other every weekend and we have future plans to live together and thus see each other daily. The above is just an example off the top of my head but it does reflect a man who is calm but takes matters into his own hands without showing any signs of insecurity. HeyAlysia, Instead, try to identify the root cause of this behaviour and take corrective action. I will answer your questions in order. I was there the whole time and he did not know I was there. Even if you feel that you are becoming negatively emotional about such things at the time, it is always best to deal with them privately on your own first. So to answer your question, I would say your girlfriend has the right attitude in just laughing it off and forgetting about it. after that day ( i mentioned in my previous msg) She lives a bit far from me so we dont get to see each other every day. Two articles that relate to your situation that you may enjoy reading are the following: Nice guy or bad boy find the perfect balance. The only time to worry would be if she was being purposefully vague or describing guys in terms of specific emotional reactions (fundamental to sexual attraction). First of all, theres the people in our school. I told her that that was a right she did not have as she was a guest of mine at this party and I know these guys and it is the right thing for her to tell me that they emailed her regardless of what my reaction is after. Men of reddit, how do you handle women hitting on you when you're in a committed relationship? Everyones relationship setup is slightly different and the fact you are away for a good portion of the week is undoubtedly going to stir up a whole host of emotions such as missing each other. Right? . The main thing that gets me is that if for some reason we breakup then she has all of her old hookups just waiting for her! She is really friendly and doesnt know how to say no. Since these last few weeks of taking daily medicine for it, shes finally able to go out and have a good time. That is, if he is actively trying to get a rise out of you, then by you seeming unaffected, you automatically have the higher ground. As a man is it normal to feel an extreme discomfort at the idea of other men approaching your partner? I cant help but think shes cheating or talking to other guys behind my back. Parental Abuse - What to Do When Your Child or Teen Hits You Related Post: Is It Bad If My Girlfriend Goes Clubbing? So, I waited. Its possible that your friends may be jealous of your relationship and may even be attracted to your girlfriend but whilst the roles of them being your friend and you being her boyfriend are defined, it is unlikely anything ominous is going to happen. If your girlfriend hits you, it qualifies as physical abuse. You say that your girlfriend is seemingly trying to make you jealous or boost her own ego. I shake my head and say something well you know how to make it stop, have you blocked them yet? The problem with asking her to restrict her behaviour, even in the short-term, is that you arent curing the issue, you are merely deflecting it. He is also physically much larger than i am so i am not sure how to approach it. I have met many girls who predominantly have male friends For some reason, some girls feel more comfortable and less threatened around men than women. Try to find out if she was in an abusive relationship or living with a diagnosed mental health condition that causes the individual to act violently. I have said I think its best she doesnt speak to or see this guy but I dont want to be an asshole who stops her from doing anything she wants to do in her life, but dread the idea that she may have feelings for him again and making it easy and acceptable for them to be friends might make it more likely for her feelings to come back or get stronger. To summarise all the advice I give on dealing with your girlfriend getting hit on, concentrate solely on being the best boyfriend you can be, earning your partners complete respect and admiration, and then letting the relationship chips fall where they may. You never want to make your girlfriend feel that she CANT tell you something only that you would PREFER her not to tell you in detail. I nean Im happy right now. But I dont want to do this cause I love her and see a future with her. On the other hand when she tells me about a guy that was hitting on her after she already told him she is with me , i get angry at the lack of respect of these men and I get fearful and jealous. But if you follow the string down, way down, usually cheating stems from some form of disconnection with self. If she shares deeper thoughts then you can share how you view her interactions sometimes and how it makes you feel. They used to talk until even 6 in the morning, while she was telling me she went to sleep at around 12 or 1 am. Remember that its not this guys fault if he is attracted to your girlfriend and from the sounds of it he hasnt done anything out of line so far; he might actually be a thoroughly nice man if you give him a chance. Is it really that normal that me as her boyfriend do not provide enough validation for her? But isnt the whole point of the initial article here saying that Dont get jealous Show your trust in her and all that stuff. Even though you have told her that you would rather she was honest each time, she chooses to lie or withhold information based on her expectations, experiences and beliefs. hey there, i was wandering if you could help me with my situation, you see my girlfriend and i are very close see eachother everyday and genreally have a good relationship, but latley she has been texting this guy nonstop and deletes the messages sometimes but also tells me when he hits on her, for example she sent a text to him once after a party that she was never drinking again and then he replied you should come out with me soon with a wink face and has also said that he wants hugs from her and that, my girlfriend tells me all this and rejects him or ignores him but this makes me angry because i have jelousy issues, when i get mad and message him she says i push her away but i just dont want any other guys hitting on her because im insecure and previous girlfriends have left me for another guy. NIGHT OF OPEN HEAVEN | DAY 87 [100 DAYS FASTING & PRAYER - Facebook The only times that really needs exercising is when your girlfriend outwardly expresses displeasure in some of the situations she finds herself in. If she also feels that his behaviour is inappropriate or uncomfortable (the fact that he is married to a mutual friend does make this seem likely) then she should perhaps state her reservations to this guy. So how do you know when you are ready to move in with someone? The parallels between the logistics of your relationship and my own are actually uncanny The situation of being long-distance, deciding to live together and the influence of her family mirror my experiences with my girlfriend Heidi remarkably well. shes very gullible, simple minded and innocent in that way. Being friends with an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend is only a problem if there are lingering feelings and a lack of respect from either party towards any current relationships. Just keep in mind thatrelationship abuse happens in a cycleand it usually gets worse with time. In these situations, I WANT to help out and talk to her, give her advice, and be supportive. His texts became very overwhelming for the rest of the week and after a night where she basically text chatted w him while w me at the bar until the bar closed, I decided to express my concern over their growing relationship. This girl is in a relationship with YOU. Listen, guys. I admire your ability to get through such an experience and move on with your relationship. You are beautiful and I dont blame them either. Thanks again for the post, I really appericate it!! If the situations ever look genuinely uncomfortable for your girlfriend then that is when you should step in but once again, dont judge your girlfriend for being friendly; it is great that she is! and immediately stood up walked to the front of my room and said, I asked you at least 10 times if that was the end of the story and you assured me yes, now tell me what else happened in that car, she stood up and said, i will tell you but 1st i must pack my bags because Im going after this, and that notified me something big happened. but I dont want to make mistakes. Thank you for your time reading this whole teen drama. She tried holding me and kept saying sorry but I left her. Also an Unknown number texted her and Pretty much asked if she was with me and then said text me to her but she denied knowing who it was when it was apparent that they knew her i just wish i didnt think she was doing stuff behind my back when it seems like She isIt also seems like she could careless when we get in an argument And its like if we dont talk again she would be ok. Shes the type of girl who isnt all lovey dovey and doesnt get jealous which is different from what Im use to. You dont have to be best friends with him but the moment you start making enemies outside your relationship is the moment negative emotions start seeping into the relationship once more. The situation right now is there is one guy tries to hit on her by texting. There is no right time to move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend. This also means that you probably know already the sort of things you need to change in order to create a deeply fulfilling relationship, even after all this time. I have a lot of male friends, and have been in relationships with jealous guys. Although there might be other variables, it sounds like he was more available and validating for her during that period. Dear Sam, But hold up, thats the last thing you want to do. But now I feel like I want to get back at her. Even then, you do not want to forbid her from talking to him She will only resent you for it and it doesnt sound like he is an actual threat to your relationship. Lets just say I pulled off the road and went insane. then after when they broke up. How do I (M) handle bartender GF getting hit on innapropriately? - Reddit My heart sunk and I dont know what to think. What To Do? I didnt think people like this existed. Written by Kailash Srinivasan So, your girlfriend gets hit on by other guys, even while you're right there. I know that the reason my girlfriend Heidi always immediately tells me about things such as ominous emails or texts is because I never get angry or judgemental about it It is something that we have mutually agreed to be open about! she said that was all they did and it was for about 10 seconds and she didnt enjoy it at all. It is often difficult for guys to fully understand a role-reversal, as men typically do not get as much unwarranted attraction, so try to help him to see it from your perspective. Hes trying to convince her that Im bad for her and he is the better choice. She also said its just that she is comfortable with me and trusts me and feels she doesnt have to text or call me as often because we will be living with each other in 8 weeks. How should i just deal with her loving the attention and friendships of guys who are clearly into her and not being open about it with me? Granted, I found this message because I looked at her FB messages when her browser was left openbut still I only did this because of the amount of guys she had put in my face up to this point and didnt seem interested in stopping. Elaborate . Because of this, a useful way I find to overcome the situation is to force myself to treat them like I would if I wasnt aware of their infatuation at all. As mentioned in previous comments, the overriding best course of action is to try and put your instinctual feelings aside and not give your girlfriend a reason to go off with anyone else by continuing to be the best option available (not by directly competing with anyone else but by doing the things that make you a great boyfriend, as discussed in other articles on this website). The worst thing to do would be to jeopardise her ability to be a friendly, polite and attractive woman because you are afraid of what might become of certain interactions. She is being very mature about many things already. Remember that she is no longer with him for a reason and she is also with you for a reason! I am going out with this girl, to make this short basically she left her ex for me after just over a year of a relationship due to him being controlling and physically abusive towards her. A lot of the other situations you are describing revolve around being more assertive and reassuring in the relationship. As long as you and your girlfriend remain honest and open with each other, his input should be no more than a minor annoyance. If she is telling you in an empathetic and innocent way then that is a good thing and you should encourage such honesty from her. The point about jealousy in a relationship is not simply dont be jealous but dont be NEEDLESSLY jealous; the latter being jealousy stemming from insecurity and fear.

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