pros and cons list for girlfriend

Of course, this is also one of those pros you only get in relationships where you feel seen, respected, and validated. Glamour may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. by PsychGratitude My Girlfriends Pro's and Con's.. To revisit this article, select My Account, thenView saved stories. When you date in high school, you learn how to date. Additional reporting by Concepcion de Leon. Unfortunately, as nice as it is to have someone in your corner, it can also be a legitimate drawback. Always communicate with your partner about your problems. With pointed questions and a research app, evaluating a facility is doable. I love hearing sometimes the things that people list as what they want in their ideal partner regarding what they want to do with their life. Therefore, individuals must weigh these pros and cons carefully when considering entering into a romantic partnership. The cons: He's unemployed and not looking for work. In one study, 69 college students who had been involved in a relationship for at least two months took part in a 9-month longitudinal study.7 Every two weeks, they reported on whether or not they were still in the relationship. It offers a real shot at intimacy and can be an avenue for all parties involved to grow.On the other hand, it can also result in distraction, and co-dependency and can actually stunt ones progress if care is not taken. When we think about a future event, we forget that it doesnt exist in isolation. Pro: a sense of meaning and purpose in life, 25. You may not have it all figured out yet, but you can focus on other goals knowing your love life is secure and stable. A girlfriend is a friend whom you can always rely on, no matter what the situation is. In order to achieve this level of communication, vulnerability plays a crucial role. Making the decision to have a girlfriend involves weighing the pros and cons of being in a relationship. The list helped crystallize my thinking.". This happens in our romantic relationships, too. You can now split bills and living expenses, which can be a perk . We are committed to helping our readers make informed decisions about their finances, and encourage you to explore our site for helpful resources and insights. Regardless, her list forces the question: Is it possible to write a pro-con list that actually helps you make a decision about a relationship? Ideally, you get to talk about everything with your partner from your past to a future together. Humans crave variety, and as such, we can get tired of even our favorite things if constantly exposed to them. What Are The Pros & Cons Of Living Together Before Marriage Prep up before moving in with your partner before marriage. Con: your other relationships may suffer, 23. When you see the therapist, avoid turning the sessions into finger-pointing exercises by airing a laundry list of complaints. 5 West_Jelly_6073 1 yr. ago I mean I guess in a sense, she clearly thought your pros outweigh your cons . You factor them into your decisions and cant help but worry about them all of which you may be able to live with on most days. 3 Ways to Protect Yourself From the Dark Triad, Dismissing Attachment and the Search for Love, The Benefits of Letting Yourself Be Vulnerable, Differentiation Is the Crucial Relationship Skill You Need. Not all couples get to see each other as often as theyd like, but even in that case, you still carry your partner with you wherever you go. From fun to grief, a relationship allows you to share it all with another personyour person. There are various compromise strategies that can be employed to ensure that both individuals feel fulfilled and satisfied in the relationship. These were all character traits, nothing superficial. Pros and Cons of My Girlfriend Having a girlfriend can be a wonderful experience that brings joy and companionship to your life. However, on the other hand, relationships require effort, compromise, and communication which may not always be easy to maintain. All those things you can deal with are honestly a nightmare for many couples. Interacting with the person right in front of you is a much easier way to talk." Marcus Mariota, Athlete Advantages & Disadvantages of Online Dating Online dating has become quite popular over the past decade. In conclusion, having a girlfriend can be compared to planting a garden. The control group just completed the satisfaction questionnaire without analyzing their relationships first. Its tough enough keeping oneself in line at times, imagine tacking on the weight of someone elses wellbeing. Disadvantages. If it made you uncomfortable talk to her about it and tell her how it made you feel. However, its important to remember that our gut instincts are not foolproof and can be influenced by external factors. You can go out for pizza, coffee, movies and parties with friends. Rita Watson, MPH, is an associate fellow at Yale's Ezra Stiles College, a former columnist for The Providence Journal, and the author of Italian Kisses: Rose-Colored Words and Love from the Old Country. I made a pros and cons list for my gf I made a pros and cons list for my girlfriend. After it was over, she noticed she had been keeping a mental checklist of all the ways he'd wronged herthings like, "He ignored me when I visited him," and "He would rather listen to music than hear me talk"so she decided to write them down as a reminder for future relationships. Next time do the right thing and just break up when you feel like you do not know if a relationship has more pros than cons. Trust issues are common in relationships and require constant effort to maintain. You let too much slide, sleep in and eat more than you should and skip one or ten workouts because the person youre doing it for thinks you are perfect anyway. Reddit, Inc. 2023. Your friends will start to get away, and thus you end up losing them. Your girlfriend will be by your side in both bad and good times. She will be your best friend. Something about someone you deem pretty special thinking highly enough of you to want to be your partner does wonders for self-esteem. Self-love is accepting yourself wholeheartedly, treating yourself with kindness, and prioritizing your health. Dude. She will buy you gifts: Your girlfriend understands that men love getting presents from their girlfriends. 4 Wilson, T. D., & Dunn, E. W. (2004). 8 Hoerger, M., Quirk, S. W., Lucas, R. E., Carr, T. H. (2010).Cognitive determinants of affective forecasting errors. "A pro-con list is great for bringing out the possible factors that go into your decision, but the problem is that it equalizes the importance of all these things," says Charles Foster, Ph.D., author of What Do I Do Now? You can laugh at and with yourselves like friends, share comfortable silences, bicker like siblings and still make wild, passionate love without fussing over looks or worrying about them losing interest. Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you? If your partner asks if there is someone else, then whether the answer is yes or no, consider replying, This is not about another person, it's about us.. "Is this what I want going forward? But when people are asked to analyze their reasons for liking that task or landscape, suddenly their behavior doesnt match up with those preferences anymore.1. And there was no tally of the "un-divorced"those no longer wishing to stay married but who, for various (often financial) reasons remain legally together. When we overanalyze things, we get confused and make poor decisions. As relationships go, user experience is almost always unique to each person. NTA for making a list. It is important to listen to your gut instincts and assess whether you are truly ready for the commitment that comes with having a partner. . Effective communication plays a vital role in this process as it ensures that both parties are heard and understood. She will give you something special to make you feel loved. Some individuals may struggle with balancing time between their significant other and other important aspects of their life such as work or personal hobbies. Emotional labor: Relationships require emotional investment from both partners. However, it's important to weigh the pros and cons before diving into a relationship. The most important question to ask yourself is this: In your heart of hearts, do you believe that he or she is the right one for you? Know whether your partner would benefit from a prolonged good-bye, or from a quick end. Whether its chores, pooling resources (or deciding on serious stuff like whether to go out or order in) they do it as a unit. 2. You may be skeptical at first, but if you get a real one, their actions should make a believer out of you. 4 Stages of Adult Development: Where Are You? The cons: He's unemployed and not looking for work. But realistically, its a mix of everything. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 44, 800807. Things in this case can be sex, but also the mere presence of the other person if only some of the time. Figuring out if a relationship is over begins with asking oneself if one's partner is truly the right one, or just the one "right now." When you first met, you thought the two of you had been. Strangers to ourselves: Discovering the adaptive unconscious. An attitude of gratitude enhances the search for serenity. Suddenly, the future you know you deserve doesnt feel as impossible anymore as it did in the past. Clear and honest communication is the foundation of a sturdy bridge that connects partners in a relationship, allowing for mutual understanding and effective problem-solving. RICO cases are inherently more complex because prosecutors must first prove the existence of a criminal enterprise. Unfortunately, toxic relationships are just as influential but in all the ways that ring negative. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend means you no longer have to go without a date to social events. 1 Wilson, T. D. (2002). Here's what I got: Pros: -Surprises me once in a while -Pretty -Financial stability -Thinks ahead -Does cute stuff sometimes -Occasional nudes, Cons: -Rude -Boring sex -Unappreciative -Selfish -Shitty communication -Prioritizes pet over me -Never expresses love -Doesn't care for me -Constantly lies to my face -Literally not a chill person -Disrespectful -Constantly irritated -Blames all her problems on me -I'm her punching bag -Will never reciprocate my love -Constantly disagrees with me -Very high maintenance -Thinks the world owes her the world -Always demanding -Never satisfied -Doesn't take my feelings in consideration at all -Terrible listener. Between meeting your friends and their partners, you start to form connections that are more pertinent to your current lifestyle than you nurture older ones. This includes examining values, interests, goals, and lifestyles. I guess what I need to do is very clear, I just thought someone might be able to help. So there you have it. If you fail to give her the attention and loyalty she requires, you may have commitment issues. Con: You can't eat the pizza because you have to be in shape to run from mobs. @media(min-width:0px){#div-gpt-ad-ablison_com-banner-1-0-asloaded{max-width:300px!important;max-height:250px!important}}if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'ablison_com-banner-1','ezslot_16',631,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-ablison_com-banner-1-0'); Overall, the benefits of having a girlfriend include social support and emotional intimacy which can lead to enhanced well-being. Being demotivated to explore life independently when you are in a committed relationship is pretty common, yet it is nothing to be proud of. Many people would kill to have that. 1. Aaron, devoted husband to a Glamour editor, is hustling home to feed their two cats when he sees a woman writing on the back of an envelope. So odds are your partner is as down for the ride as you are. Taking an honest look at yourself can help you determine if you are ready for a romantic partnership. Don't go to bed angry. YTA 1000% for showing it to her. Is your impression correct? In the end, she chose the guy, and she stands by her system. The two of you will know how to have lots of fun together. By actively implementing these communication strategies and trust-building techniques, couples can avoid potential pitfalls that may arise in their relationship. A common piece of advice when youre trying to make an important decision is to generate a list of pros and cons. Its a chance (and choice) to invest in something/someone for those who may not be lucky enough to have grown up surrounded by such a sense of belonging. Dont forget to drop your feedback as always and share the article if it was worth your while. As things get serious, couples who spend a lot of time together get to tackle everyday life problems as they arise. Unfortunately, you may not even realize youre not paying attention enough till its too late. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Physical and emotional intimacy share some essential ingredients. 1. If your answer is, Im not sure, you may, in fact, be sure that the person is not right but you are afraid to be alone. If this is your pro-con list, you really have a con list.". While having a girlfriend can be rewarding in many ways, there are also downsides that need to be considered. This is what we would expect: Happier couples are less likely to break upnot exactly a news flash. Less motivation to work (hard) and follow your passion because youd be getting fulfillment points elsewhere. And the best part, advancing into a relationship means you want some if not all the same things. Romantic love is a modern construct that emerged in tandem with the novel. It's rush hour on a crowded New York City bus. Use for the Right Decisions Use pro-con lists for Go/No-Go, Continue/Cancel or other decisions with a clear Yes/No answer. When you think of it that way, a long-term relationship risks your very appetite for your partner if you cant power through repetitiveness. Con: things can get old with the same person, 13. From first date jitters to vetting every potential date for red flags and the risk of pitching your tent with the wrong one after everything, its just a lot of work. I believe living together before marriage is a must as part of the evolution of a relationship. Once you've created a list of . These can include things like controlling behavior, disrespect towards others, dishonesty, or unwillingness to compromise. Effective communication is essential in any relationship, as it allows both partners to express their thoughts and feelings openly and honestly. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. You have someone to aspire with you, listen to you vent about your day, and share your wins, losses, as well as your responsibilities. Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Con: makes you vulnerable to hurt and heartbreak, 17. Also, his cats are cute (yes, seriouslysee above). People tend to view showing vulnerability as a strength in others, but see it as a weakness in themselves. Decision made. If people say they like a task, theyll spend more time doing it; if they think a landscape is pretty, their facial expressions will show more pleasure as they look at it. What Social Situations Take Up the Most "Social Bandwidth"? Oh,. Many are familiar with the 12-step program advocated by AA, but the 13th step should be avoided. Putting together pros and cons list can help you see things more clearly than when its all jumbled in your head, so no, its not at all bad. I am coming online to talk about an issue that is difficult for me to talk to people about face to face. It takes time to build trust, but it can easily be shattered by even minor violations. Our emotions are especially difficult to understand, so trying to apply rational tactics to understanding why we feel the way we do can backfire and leave us more, not less, confused about our feelings. Pros and cons lists help bring things more clearly into perspective whenever we have a difficult decision to make. It can help you see the situation in a different light and sort out your thoughts. 20 Pros and Cons of EMTALA Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act, 20 Pros and Cons of Televising Criminal Trials, How to Clean Solar Panels? Lack of independence: Being in a relationship means sharing your life with another person. It is important to communicate openly and honestly with ones partner about individual needs and desires, as well as taking time for oneself to pursue independent activities. While being in a relationship can bring companionship, intimacy, and support, it also requires compromise, communication skills, and time management. Why does introspective analysis lead us to confusion? By moving in with your girlfriend, you can also assure that you will have someone on your side when things start to go . In 2022, the typical agent-assisted home sale brought in $345,000 the exact median in Texas, coincidentally while the typical FSBO home went for $225,000. Why someone can want love, but not be able to tolerate it. Is it nurturing enough that you want it in the days and years to come? You can always rely on your girlfriend no matter what the situation is. 4. Communication tips such as actively listening and expressing ones own needs can also facilitate compromise and understanding. In addition to a sense of belonging, being part of a healthy, committed couple can also make one feel like theyre finally doing something right with their life. Because your choices affect your partner, you may find yourself being more empathetic and readily making compromises for the team. For couples in the control group, the correlation between how satisfied they said they were in the first part of the study and whether or not they broke up several months later was fairly large. Judgment and Decision Making 5, 365373. 4. It could be a great loss on your part regarding your studies or career. Basically, you act like lovers and best friends. The importance of open communication has been previously discussed, but it is important to highlight how this skill can be applied when resolving conflicts. However, it is sad to note that this post was among the most often read over 1 million hits. In 2021, a former girlfriend filed a lawsuit against him, alleging physical and emotional abuse. Write down the general pros and cons of the relationship. Now check your email to confirm your subscription. A good example is clubbing before and after saying yes. 6. If there was a poll of why people go into relationships, Im pretty sure filling our intimacy needs would easily top the list. NTA for making the list. Was it kindness, Write down at least two experiences that brought the two of you joy. People leaning away will come up with more disadvantages. Additionally, disagreements or conflicts may arise within the relationship that require communication skills and compromise from both partners to resolve. Many factors create a higher risk of breakup, without offering certainty for a couple. Reviewed by Dee Gill, MA By siddharth kesiraju, MA, Certification in Relationship Coaching Jun 30, 2023 Image: iStock Living together before marriage can raise a number of eyebrows. Trust serves as the backbone of any relationship, while setting clear boundaries ensures that both partners feel respected and valued within the partnership. Additionally, being honest with yourself and your potential girlfriend about your intentions and expectations can help establish a strong foundation for the relationship. Love is the allure feeling for everyone and all peoples want to savour this thing. In case you dont talk to her about your hard days, it makes you feel negative since you feel as if she is not with you on your hard days. Sure, its nice to feel safe, but that also means less room for spontaneity because involving someone else in your plans regularly requires planning around their schedule. Achieving a balance between individual needs and relational needs is a complex and crucial aspect of maintaining healthy relationships. There will never exist a dull moment when you have a girlfriend. She can make you lose your independence: Having a girlfriend hinders you from being an independent person with total control over your actions and choices. You learn what you like about guys and what you want dating to look like. Posted January 19, 2013 This sense of belongingness can enhance overall well-being and lead to improved mental health. "People leaning toward a decision will come up with more advantages. 10. 4 Things That Make a Kiss Amazingor Horrible, Body Language Cues That Lead to Instant Likability, 5 Misunderstandings About Nonmonogamous Relationships. Different things count as important in each relationship depending on what the primary individuals involved are looking to get out of it. These may not seem like plenty individually, but they sweeten the deal that is living by that much as a collective. It is because she helps you when you need it. What you may describe as goals in a relationship, another person might see as the worst thing to ever happen to them or vice-versa. This tool will do just that and pull up any hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more to hopefully help put your doubts to rest. Ultimately, self-awareness coupled with careful consideration will help one determine if they are truly ready for such an adventure. A true romantic will probably find a way to bring all the relationship pros back to love, but I like to emphasize it more as an opportunity. How can you identify if your fear of closeness is getting in the way of love? Having this. She will be your friend: Your girlfriend isn't with you just for the kissing and snuggling. Getting into the practical side of things, living with another person saves you a ton of money compared to living on your own. 9. New research suggests that observers can assess strangers' personalities on Instagram with relative accuracy. She can stress you out: Being in a healthy relationship can be a wonderful experience. Moreover, being in a committed relationship can lead to greater personal growth by challenging individuals to become better versions of themselves through compromise and communication skills development. Effects of analyzing reasons on attitudebehavior consistency. Since no one is perfect, being in a relationship with someone else means you have to learn to deal with their flaws on top of your own. Rather knowing deep down that you have someone who is genuinely invested in you. It can certainly save you a lot of trouble when trying to compare and contrast before making a choice, plus it makes it easier for outsiders to chime in if need be. Pro: a chance to know, love, and care for someone other than yourself, 15. Learn how your comment data is processed. Pros Of Having A Girlfriend: Cons Of Having A Girlfriend: 1. Since all types of relationships require some level of maintenance, the abandoned ones naturally fizzle out. It's a mysterious package, delivered by subtle sensory clues. Archived post. Be willing to listen, calmly, to the other persons reaction. To revisit this article, visit My Profile, thenView saved stories. By handling these doubts and taking a step back from our emotions, we can make more informed choices about whether or not pursuing a romantic relationship is the right choice for us. Think about where you are in life, and what your goals are beyond these two girls. The Trump indictment names an additional 18 co-defendants, including Trump's . For them, the correlation between how happy they reported being, and whether or not they broke up was basically zero. Lauren Mackler, psychotherapeutic coach and best-selling author of Solemate, recommends listing the positives (pros) and then giving each one a weight of one to 10. Loneliness affects young people as well as the elderly. Avoid using them to decide between two or more choices. I've spent about an hour just searching for more things to add on the pros side and literally cannot come up with anything. Additionally, individuals need to have prepared themselves emotionally by having the ability to communicate effectively with their partner and being comfortable with vulnerability. We picked the pros and cons. Additionally, its important to watch for red flags in your partners behavior that could indicate potential issues down the line. Balancing time is one aspect of finding this equilibrium. If you require such advice, we recommend consulting a licensed financial or tax advisor. In fact I am a messed up fucker who hasn't got his shit straight. He has a dirty room (but also a terrace? Some are a bit more material-focused, others physical. It helps to have a sense of direction yourself and set expectations before committing to someone so things start out with everyone on the same page. Should you leave him? And even if you can, should you? These 35 questions and thoughts should factor into any decision: As I review this piece in August 2019, there is very little to add to the substance. Embarking on a romantic relationship can be an exhilarating experience. She will laugh at your jokes, listen to your long stories, whether they are interesting or not, and advise you like a sister. According to 2011 census data, 55 percent of US married couples stayed together at least 15 years but this did not account for those separated. First, dont overthink it, and throw away that pros and cons list before you even start it. Its part of why its encouraged not to tie your sense of self to someone other than yourself because no matter how close anyone is to perfection, its human to disappoint. Then when I saw them next to other list items like 'She gets on my nerves when we stay at each other's places,' I realized how flimsy my reasons to stay with her were. Jessica Goldstein has written for The Washington Post and Vulture. ", When Catherine, 26, a sales specialist in New York City, broke up with her boyfriend of six years, she decided to take a dating hiatus. It can be challenging to find this balance, but open communication and mutual understanding can help create a strong foundation for the relationship. You start in a bubble with your lover, and when you manage to step out of it, you find yourself doing more couple stuff than solo. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Pro: excuse to get out of social commitments, 19. It is especially difficult during such "couples" holidays as Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve. This may include active listening, expressing empathy, and avoiding defensive or accusatory language during conflicts. Now, that may bear its excitement, but if youve had your fill of taking chances, a relationship means you dont have to swipe anymore to meet those needs. He has a dirty room (but also a terrace? Before embarking on a romantic partnership, it is essential to carefully evaluate various factors that may influence the success and longevity of the relationship. Do you want a hookup situation, or a steady girlfriend, or a long-term partner? How does a relationship fit?" Variety may appeal to all of our tastes, but usually not on the same level. Or worse yet, whether he has a criminal record or is cheating on you? When considering whether or not a girlfriend is the right person for you, communication skills and red flags are important factors to consider. Not all relationships start with both partners head over heels. 25 Pros And Cons Of Being In A Relationship, 2. Infidelity and Marriage: Deal Breaker or Wake-Up Call? Second, what about the aspects that only the comforts of a meaningful relationship can unlock? It is also important to note that we may have financial relationships with some of the companies mentioned on our website, which could result in receiving free products, services, or monetary compensation in exchange for featuring their products or services. Relationship Pros And Cons List (25 Pros And Cons Of Being In A Relationship). The idea that you are also doing the same thing for the person you love doesnt hurt either. So, if you wonder if getting bood up is a boon or a bane, depending on which day, youll be able to decide if your answer is along the lines of the following listed below. If they were still with their partner, they were asked to rate how unhappy they would be if their relationship were to end within the next two weeks. Trust building techniques are also essential in maintaining open communication within a relationship. Mispredicting distress following romantic breakup: Revealing the time course of the affective forecasting error. Con: someone is constantly in your space, 6. The first step to creating your pros and cons list is to outline its format. Con #1 of Dating in Middle School: Finding out 11.4 days later that he is "so over you" destroys your self-esteem, affirming all of your middle-schooler suspicions that you are unattractive, awkward, and that no one really likes you.

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